in the still of the night (Mark 4:35-41)

i can cross the t's
and dot every i
    in my doctrinal
    blue book
    during the mid-terms,
        but cast off
        into my dusky life
        as the storm clouds
        gather on the horizon?

i can (intellectually)
affirm certain teachings
    (though that predestination
    thingy has always bugged me,
    but you knew that before the
    foundations of the world
    were poured, right?)
        but calmly, without a whimper,
        resist crawling under the covers
        when lightning strikes
        and thunder rumbles
            through my heart?

i can memorize
all the creeds
and parrot every
confession of faith,
    but keep on steering
    through the waves
    crashing over my soul
        without looking over
        my shoulders to see
            if you have woken up?

what do you think
i am

        faithfull?

(c) Thom M. Shuman (from Dust Shaker)